May 22, 2006
I was born in a small town
calendarlive.com: TELEVISION - 'McPheever' is tepid in blas� L.A.
Apparently, Birmingham, AL (metro population: 1,082,193 as of July 2004) is a "small town". I did not know that. I'll admit that the area's insane infatuation with a televised talent show is pretty embarrassing.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:47 PM | Comments (0)
April 26, 2006
I loathe Fox
Fox to innovate BCS coverage | ajc.com
They're broadcasting the BCS bowl games (except the Rose) next year, including the new championship game. And it will suck. Suck hard.
Fox simply doesn't cover sports well. Never has, never will. Their "innovations" always take the form of adding in sound and visual effects and ignoring the actual game. The box that keeps track of the score -- that's good. Everything else is a distraction, an annoying distraction. And this sounds bad even for Fox.
• More people stories. And not just players. Goren remembers watching members of Ohio State's band stretch before they went on the field for the first time at the Fiesta Bowl."These folks were ready to go out and compete against the band from Notre Dame. I just thought that was great," he said. "And I never saw that on television. We want find stories about the bands, the cheerleaders and the fans in the stands. You're going to see more flavor."
Translation: During game action, they will cut to the sideline bimbo who will give us all the exciting story of the tuba player's battle with scoliosis or the cheerleader who's raising her two young siblings because her parents were killed by owls or whatever sob story wins in the pitch meeting. It will be utterly loathsome, and meanwhile in a little box in the corner you'll be able to see the ongoing drive. Don't worry, they'll probably cut away if there's a touchdown.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:38 PM | Comments (8)
April 17, 2006
The geek olympics
Professional Video Gaming Set for TV Debut - Yahoo! News
Seriously, if ESPN can air dominoes, and A&E can air Rock, Paper, Scissors, USA can air "Major League Gaming". Of course there's a professional video game player's league. Duh. My only concern is that they're all very young and have used up their amateur status, which will keep them from playing video games at the collegiate level when the NCAA adds it as a sport in a couple years.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:24 PM | Comments (0)
April 03, 2006
Go Fish is next
After Luck With Poker, ESPN Bets on New York Dominoes - New York Times
Basically, what ESPN figures is that we'll watch anything if they add play-by-play and color commentary.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:56 PM | Comments (3)
March 28, 2006
A message from your electrical provider
Hello, I'm Roger Cross, Curtis from Fox's hit series "24". In tonight's episode, you saw terrorists take over a natural gas plant in an attempt to kill 200,000 people. Note that they did not take over an electrical plant, because it is almost impossible to send nerve gas over electrical wires.
So remember, choose electric -- or the terrorists win.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:55 AM | Comments (0)
March 17, 2006
Again, I am an enormous nerd
MercuryNews.com | 03/16/2006 | After 16 years, new Doctor Who lands on Sci Fi
It's a police box, not a phone booth!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
What took so long?
Jerry Lewis Gets Legion of Honor Medal
Jerry Lewis is only now receiving France's highest honor? I bet Mickey Rourke doesn't have to wait until he's 80.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 16, 2006
Great idea
Theaters may ask to jam cell phones
It really should be allowed. But I doubt it will be allowed even though the technology is readily available. (Full disclosure: I hate going to the movies.)
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 01, 2006
I miss the Charlton Heston one
Didn't ABC used to show that? Does this mean that they're going to show their new miniseries instead? And does this mean that Dougray Scott (what a name) is the next president of the NRA?
I am not even going to ask why this was reported by the Sci-Fi Channel. Paging Reverend Wildmon...
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 10, 2006
It's horrible, yet I can't look away
Who, exactly, comes up with the opening ceremonies for the Olympics, and what are they on?
UPDATE: For one thing, they haven't heard that disco is dead.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:09 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 04, 2006
NBC wusses out
OrlandoSentinel.com: Cruci-fixin's?
The PTC practically runs NBC now, it seems. At least this means I won't have to watch an episode of "Will & Grace".
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:45 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 02, 2006
Man, this sucks
AFA Chairman Calls for Protest, Pre-Emption of 'Will & Grace' Episode
Now I'm going to have to watch an episode of "Will & Grace".
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:35 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
January 27, 2006
John McCain, messenger boy
Television McCain has a role in ‘24' — but just for a ‘blink'
I dunno. I think he should play a widely respected Senator who lends his credibility to make President Logan seem less like a putz, but that's just me.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 25, 2006
Like I thought
UPN 68 to air as independent after merger
The general manager of both 21 and 68 says that he wants the latter to focus on "high school sports and family-oriented events," because he hates having to run two stations and wants one of them to go out of business. He then added that "I think that is the crux of what is needed in this market," which is meaningless noise. Back in '98, Sinclair (the evil owners) dropped the UPN affiliation for seven months and actually made more money, because nobody really watches UPN. Well, I do, but I'm not anybody.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 24, 2006
If "Veronica Mars" survives, I'm happy
CW network to replace WB, UPN in September - Jan. 24, 2006
To be honest, a lot of the time I'm not sure which of the two networks a show airs on. They've always been pretty interchangeable. Leaves a hole in a lot of local channels' schedules.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:27 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack
January 20, 2006
I guess Tic-Tac-Toe fell through
MediaPost Publications - A&E Shoots For New Program Franchise: Rock, Paper, Scissors - 01/19/2006
This has to be a joke, right? Apparently not. Anheuser-Busch is on board as a title sponsor. They have a tour and everything. It can't be any dumber and more predictable than "Celebrity Blackjack", I guess.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:15 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 10, 2006
Another movie that will never be made
Hollywood has optioned lots of Terry Pratchett's books, but the movies never get made. Not here, anyway -- there are some British cartoons, I think.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 03, 2006
My favorite sitcom
'Scrubs' stays an inventive operation - The Boston Globe
Right now, without a doubt, all due respect to My Name Is Earl and The Office and poor, doomed, Arrested Development.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 19, 2005
Degrading reality shows (space flight edition)
BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Space cadets taken in by TV hoax
These three people do not appear to be very bright.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 15, 2005
This is so wrong
Disney hasn't mucked around with Winnie the Pooh enough yet, it seems, so they're replacing Christopher Robin with a six-year-old girl. Next up: Eeyore is dosed with Prozac.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:00 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
December 07, 2005
Were Wolf
AP Wire | 12/07/2005 | Stephanie March joins new legal drama
I wasn't optimistic about the announced Dick Wolf lawyer show Conviction, because Wolf's shows that don't have Law & Order in the title have sucked. But he is bringing back March, who is great, and he's got J. August Richards from Angel in the cast, so I'll give it a shot.
I'm basically Dick Wolf's bitch, I admit it.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 06, 2005
This is bad
Mel Gibson Plans TV Miniseries on Holocaust - New York Times
So Mel, who won't condemn his father's Holocaust denial -- or even say that daddy is wrong -- is going to make a movie about the Holocaust. There's no law against it, I guess.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 29, 2005
Evil! He's evil!
Guardian Unlimited | Arts news | BBC joins Lloyd Webber in search for Maria
As if there was any doubt of the absolute, unfettered evil of Andrew Lloyd Webber, consider this. The BBC is giving him a reality show. In which he will audition candidates to play Maria von Trapp in a Sound of Music revival at the London Palladium. Yes, he's managing to ruin TV, movies (if you have a fondness for the film; I don't), and the stage all at the same time.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:44 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
November 14, 2005
The PTC is indecent
TV Barn: Indecency complaints 99-44/100ths impure
There were 23,547 complaints to the FCC about television indecency in the third quarter of 2005. 23,542 of them were from the Parents Television Council.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:25 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
November 03, 2005
You know, except for being fifty feet tall
For that matter, why would a 50-foot-tall ape move like a normal sized gorilla? But then you get into the whole question of how a 50-foot-ape could move at all, or do anything but eat constantly, or even breathe, so I shouldn't go there.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:36 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 31, 2005
How much would it take...
...for you to watch this movie?
I would do it for fifty dollars.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 06:43 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 07, 2005
Degrading celebrity reality shows
ALEXIS ARQUETTE TO TELEVISE SEX CHANGE DECISION
Supposedly, minor Arquette sibling and draq queen Alexis will film a TV series for A&E in which he decides whether to have a sex change operation. My guess is that this is some sort of joke.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 13, 2005
The President is a jerk
Bush to make TV speech from New Orleans
It's the season premiere of Survivor! Have you noticed that his "important prime time speeches" are always on Thursday?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:17 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
September 07, 2005
Who was?
TV Barn
Media eyewitness: "I wasn't prepared...."
Aaron Barnhart interviews radio reporter Dan Verbeck on New Orleans.
What he saw was a responsive, well organized local government and a federal response that was "almost criminal" in its indifference and incompetence...And what about that Fox News canard that the Mayor could've saved lives if he'd just gotten 350 buses out there? "I don't think anyone would've gone," Dan said.
Dan Verbeck was one of the first people on the scene of the 1981 Hyatt disaster in Kansas City. He has witnessed countless tornadoes, disasters, and of course accidents and fires. But he said "I wasn't prepared for this."
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 26, 2005
Sam Gamgee, Counterterrorist Agent
Astin making '24' debut in 4-hour opener - Yahoo! News
Will he make it through the season? Unlikely, but never bet against a hobbit.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:56 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
August 25, 2005
It's a musical explosion
BBC NEWS | World | Middle East | Iraqis cheered by Pop Idol show
So, "Iraqi Idol". The finals are being held in Beirut, without an audience, for security reasons. The probable winner is a 12-year-old boy.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 22, 2005
It all makes sense now
ABC, Touchstone sued over 'Lost'
ABC hires a guy in 1977 to make a show for Sid and Marty Krofft. Then they sit on the idea for almost thirty years before making it -- changing the concept from a kids' show along the way. And H. R. Pufnstuff is probably at the bottom of the ladder.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 18, 2005
Not as Grendel
What role would there be for Angelina Jolie in Beowulf?
Jolie will play the queen of darkness, who tempts the Viking hero as he makes his way in the quest to become king.
This would seem to be a rather free adaptation.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:46 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Dopple topple
al.com: NewsFlash - KSTP files lawsuit against Doppler radar supplier
Enterprise Electronics Corporation -- which I assume is based in Enterprise -- has been sued by a TV station in Minnesota for selling them a faulty weather radar system. And how can they interrupt programming and brag about their weather radar without weather radar?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 09, 2005
Holy Degrading Reality Shows!
Contestants preach up a storm for reality
Yes, a version of American Idol for preachers. I can see it now. "That was terrible. I didn't feel holy at all."
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:18 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
He should sue
NBC Drops 'The Law Firm' Reality Series
David E. Kelley's reality show has been kicked to Bravo, even before he can figure out a way to make it worse.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 06, 2005
V*v* L*s V*g*s
USATODAY.com - NFL may ban 'Vegas' promos during games
The NFL (aka the "No Fun League") is so concerned about gambling -- because they run a morally pure sport and don't want anyone to gamble on their product, no sir -- that they're thinking of stopping NBC from running promos for the show Las Vegas when the network starts showing NFL games next year.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 27, 2005
Oh, this will be fun
Hoover awaits MTV decision on restrictions
Oh, you think that you can outsmart MTV. And sure, you can. But you can never outstupid them.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 26, 2005
So you're Jamie Foxx
A few months ago, you won Best Actor at the Oscars. And now, you're doing a publicity tour for Stealth. You have to be wondering how that happened.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:03 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Mel Gibson, nutjob
CNN.com - New Mel Gibson film to be in Mayan - Jul 26, 2005
Oh, why not? And the next one can be in, I don't know, Proto-Indo-European or something.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:41 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
I like saying "Hogeboom"
Legendary former NFL backup quarterback Gary Hogeboom is apparently a contestant on the upcoming Survivor. Take that, Jesse Palmer!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 21, 2005
The Democrats will probably lose this one too
Reality TV Gets Political Spin In 'Red/Blue' Series Proposal
A proposed eight-part series titled "Red/Blue," which its creators aim to get on the air next summer, places 12 or 14 aspiring political consultants -- divided into two teams of liberals and conservatives -- inside a Georgetown townhouse that's wired with cameras and microphones a la "Real World" and "Big Brother." The participants engage in a series of challenges, both in and out of Washington, that test their political skills. Two hopefuls, one of each political stripe, will be eliminated each week. The last man or woman standing wins $1 million to spend on a cause or candidate in the 2006 election.
Of course, probably nobody's going to see it, since political reality shows haven't done very well.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 19, 2005
May God forgive us
A Smurfs movie. No, a projected trilogy. In 3-D.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:04 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
July 10, 2005
Slightly Foxed
The local Fox affiliate seems to be off the air. Here's what you're missing.
Meanwhile, the NBC affiliate is pre-empting programming for all-Dennis, all-the-time, but has no problem with breaking to commercial.
UPDATE: Another neat thing is that when there's a hurricane, all the sports guys have to report on actual news. I'm not sure why, because they don't seem to be short of reporters.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 07, 2005
Replay
Bochco bats again with Fox series - Yahoo! News
Steven Bochco's been repeating himself for a quarter century. Now he's even dredging up his failures. Remember Bay City Blues? Of course you don't. Next, he'll try to revive Cop Rock.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 06, 2005
Cha-chung!
Fred Thompson to shepherd high court nominee through process - Wednesday, 07/06/05
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the next Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court, Sam Waterston."
Posted by Mac Thomason at 06:28 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
June 30, 2005
Sleep... must sleep
'Prairie Home' stars file into St. Paul theatre
They're making a Prairie Home Companion movie? And Robert Altman is directing? Two hours in a darkened theater watching that and you'll move beyond "falling asleep" and all the way to "coma". (Via TV Barn.)
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:23 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 24, 2005
Is our children learning?
Board OKs MTV talks for show on football
Well, if you're a Hoover High football player's parent, find out on MTV! Looks like there's a good chance this will actually happen, despite the misgivings of one board member:
School board member Joe Dean said he could not support the project because it could be shown on MTV, a network "known for provocative and sensual programming that I think is not in the best interests of viewership of young adults and children."
Plus they never play videos anymore. The head coach at Hoover High is named "Rush Propst". He has the first name of a radio rightwinger and the last name of a reality show host.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 20, 2005
You're the inspiration
Variety.com - 'Bomb' sets off Fox
Fox smells Zee plot theft
Apparently, the Indian film industry routinely makes movies "inspired" by American hits. Indian TV is following suit, but it's not a ripoff:
One action thriller has Jack Bauer, a CIA agent who heads the country’s Counter Terrorism Unit, uncovering a plot to assassinate US presidential nominee David Palmer. There were 24 episodes in the first season, spanning the 24 hours within which Bauer has to identify the killer and save Palmer’s life.The episodes unfold in real time, with Bauer — played by Emmy award nominee Kiefer Sutherland — also trying to cope with a strained marriage and the serial points at the “Islamic threat” to the world...
The other action thriller has Varun Avasthi, a RAW special agent who belongs to an “exclusive intelligence outfit” called the Agency to Counter Terrorism, uncovering a plot to assassinate young and dynamic Prime Minister Aniruddha Prakash.
There will be 24 episodes in the serial, spanning the 24 hours in which Avasthi has to identify the killers and save Prakash. The episodes again unfold in real time, making up the 24 hours of the single day, with Avasthi also coping with a strained marriage and threats.
See, it's completely different. (Via TV Tattle.)
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 16, 2005
I'd like to forget that ever happened
You may recall that there were three Alabamians on the most recent addition of the Cadillac of reality shows. And that they all wound up on the same tribe. And that that tribe turned out to be the worst tribe ever, losing every challenge until it was whittled down to nothing. It was very embarrassing. Speaking of embarrassing:
Sporting a "Survivor: Palau" cap and a T-shirt touting himself as being unemployed, James Miller, the former steelworker whose recent flirtation with fame was as a contestant on the popular CBS reality show, had some advice for those who were auditioning in Mobile on Wednesday.
"Generally act like a horse's ass for the whole time, speak in an incomprehensible redneck dialect, be incompetent at challenges, and say racist, sexist, and homophobic things. It's TV gold!"
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 16, 2005
I mean, I don't have anything against Raymond...
Not everyone loved 'Raymond,' or his wife and mother, but you had to appreciate a well-crafted show
I was going to talk about Everybody Loves Raymond but Tim Goodman says most everything I would have and much better. Still... Does this show really have devoted fans? I've always thought of it as a good show and one that people enjoyed, but hardly something with a rabid fan base.
It's the last really big hit sitcom, though. This is a form of TV that goes back fifty years in its basic (three-camera, one main location, laugh-track) form and has been the dominant form of American television in the past. And it's dying.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:04 AM | Comments (2)
May 10, 2005
American TV has some standards
BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arts | Channel 4 seeks next West End hit
Well, one standard: they won't put on something nobody will watch. Nobody's going to running this on network TV over here. A reality show to pick a play? Ick. Produced by an Andrew Lloyd Webber producer? Double ick.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:30 PM | Comments (4)
April 26, 2005
You're evil!
CNN.com - 'The Birds' is coming -- again - Apr 26, 2005
What's worse than the Gus Van Sant Psycho? The potential Michael Bay remake of The Birds. Though I'd love to see Bay get his eyes pecked out.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 12, 2005
Easy on the botox, Courtney
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yahoo! News - Study Finds Japanese Watch Most TV
How could this be? We've fallen behind the Japanese in our TV watching? Something must be done, like in the fifties when the Russians launched Sputnik. We need a national initiative to encourage TV watching and find new ways to pursue this national duty.
Also, we will have to learn from the Japanese. How do they do it? Calisthenics? Do we need to develop our own embarrassing game shows and epilepsy-inducing cartoons?
Needless to say, those people who say that they don't have TVs in their houses will have to be shipped to Gitmo, where they'll share their cages with 45-inch projection screens with 145-function remote controls, none of which are off switches. It's a tragedy, but this is a national crisis.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:20 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 10, 2005
The real reason Brad & Jen broke up
'Friends' Cox, Aniston in city for baby's baptism
"You want to go to Birmingham?!?"
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 07, 2005
The All-America Summarize "Lost" Competition
So, Lost killed off the most boring character last night, as was fairly predictable. He died as he lived, with a stupid look on his face. Meryl has an excellent summary.
Boone: Jack, wait!Jack: Dammit! Michael and I built this nifty guillotine! Oh, well, I'm sure it will come in handy in a later episode.
Boone: Forget it, I'm dying, I'm in pain, you're not cutting off my leg, too.
Jack: I won't let you die.
Boone: You don't have a choice. My contract is up.
Jack: Dammit! I'm a doctor, not an executive producer! I can't save you, Boone!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:24 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
April 01, 2005
New 'Idol' style Reality show to pit TV shows in March Madness style Tournament
From 'The Daily Variety'
April 1st, 2005
Actually, this is a WAVE of shows in this new reality genre.
TV stars of the 70's, 80's & 90's will do 'updated versions of their old shows to compete for RATINGS...best ratings each week moves on in an elimination style tourney ala March Madness. At the end, only one series can be left standing. Here's the match-ups set for the tournament with comedy on one side and dramas on the other...the winning comedy will face the winning drama as the comedy will get to air an hour long special opposite the one hour drama for the RATINGS CHAMPIONSHIP.
Sitting On the judges table as former TV star actors come out to present their show for the night will be three Television experts: former 'Nanny' star Charles Shaugnessy wearing just a black t-shirt and being grumpy. He's the comedy expert. Former "Homicide" star and upcoming star of FX's "Thief" Andre Braugher as the drama expert. he will wear shades the whole time and say the word "dog" a lot; and former FOX Entertainment President Gail Berman, who was recently in a decision-making role about the fate of series will smile a lot and fakely tell everyone how great they are but she JUST isn't sure if it's the right fit...
Interestingly, when TV fans got a wind of the list of 64, they clamored for "ER" to make it but were informed that 'ER' was still ON the air, which surprised everyone.
This isn't scientific and with SO MANY SHOWS to choose from, many were simply chosen out of a hat.
First Round, Chicago Bracket:
1. L.A. Law vs. Streets of San Francisco
*in this match-up, you pit sleazy Divorce lawyer Arnie Becker & his good mentally stunted friend, Benny Stulwicz vs. the ageless detetive work of Karl Malden and a very aging partner, Michael Douglas. Due to the death of Malden, his part will now be played by Catherine Zeta Jones in the updated version.
2. Beverly Hills, 90210 vs. Little House on the Prairie
*Shannen Doherty is forced to choose sides as Melissa Gilbert pits against those sideburned heroes, Brandon & Dylan.
3. St. Elsewhere vs. Quincy, MD
It's doctor against doctor as prankster Howie Mandel and a suddenly available Denzel Washington take on a new Quincy played by David Schwimmer!
4. Life Goes On vs. The Fall Guy
Can special Corky really take on action hero Lee Majors?
5. Melrose Place vs. Dynasty
Heather Locklear is forced into a Shannen Doherty like dilemma about which show to choose. William Shatner's TJ Hooker has agreed to help Heather make a choice.
6. Quantum Leap vs. The X Files
Can Mulder & Scully figure out where Sam is going to leap next? The secret lies with Al...
7. The Rockford Files vs. Picket Fences
James Garner is feeling pretty cocky over his match-up with David E. Kelley's band of weirdos.
8. Hart to Hart vs. Charlie's Angels
Drew Barrymore will lend her guest star talents to Farrah & co. as they take on the agelssly handsome Robert Wagner.
First Round, Albuquerque bracket:
1. Chips vs. Starsky & Hutch
David Soul & Paul Michael Glaser were unable to locate Owen Wilson & Ben Stiller's phone numbers in time to take on a freshly rejuivated Erik Estrada and his straight outta rehab buddy, Larry Wilcox.
2. Star Trek: The Next Generation vs. Baywatch
Will Commander Riker be able to fend off the charms of Pamela Anderson's sexy CJ? Only if his wife Counselor Troi can race the clock and get him the news first about her deadly alien disease not treatable at the free clinic...
3. Hill Street Blues vs. Cagney & Lacey
Tyne Daly is raring to act her a-- off in her butchest outfit yet, but a fresh off 'NYPD Blue' Dennis Franz is ready to tackle ANY challenge.
4. Knight Rider vs. Macgyver
David Hasselhoff is forced to split hit duties battling both 'Trek' & Richard Dean Anderson, while still pleasing the people of Germany with his many musical appearances in Frankfurt.
5. Magnum, PI vs. Knots Landing
The ageless Tom Selleck is suddenly looking old over the hot again careers of Nicollette Sheridan & William Devane. Devane even promises a surprise appearance from his new friend, Kiefer Sutherland.
6. Six Million Dollar Man vs. The Waltons
Can a not-so-happy family really battle the daring Lee Majors? Only if his war in the Chicago bracket with Corky & Patti Lupone doesn't wear him out first. Drink lots of fluids, Lee.
7. Beauty & The Beast vs. Highway to Heaven
Being forced to re-cast both leads for 'Highway' with Michael Richards & Jonathan Silverman, just isn't the same against battle tested Linda Hamilton & Ron Perlman.
8. Dallas vs. the Love Boat
Patrick Duffy & Linda Gray will represent for Larry Hagman & Oscar will pour the drinks for the "Love Boat" crew in the last match of the 1st round for the Albuqurque bracket
Syracuse Bracket
1. Growing Pains vs. Sanford & Son
Is there anyone even ALIVE still in the "Sanford & Son" cast left for a very christian Kirk Cameron to convert? Will intellectual Carol be able to battle her alcoholic demons? Will anyone EVER notice Ben and stop calling him 'Tina Yothers' to his face?
2. The Facts of Life vs. Mr. Belvedere
Christopher Hewitt is dead but Bob Uecker wants a seat in the front row as he longs to kick Mindy Cohn's ass in this battle to the death. Nancy McKeon once again refuses to participate worrying it might her her career in Lifetime for women movies.
3. Major Dad vs. Happy Days
Gerald McRaney is putting his family through boot camp to be ready for battle as Henry Winkler & Ron Howard reunite Tom Bosley, Marion Ross, Donny Most and others in what should be a war!
4. Saved By the Bell vs. The Golden Girls
Zack & the gang have gathered in Mr. Belding's office for a strategy session on how to trip up those crafty old ladies down in south Florida. All 4 of whom are amazingly still alive!
5. Three's Company vs. Home Improvement
It's Tool Time for Tim Allen and his cast as a weary Three's Company cast tries to overcome the absence of John Ritter to still make people laugh with Suzanne Summers and her line of excercise proudcts strateigcally placed in the background.
6. The Jeffersons vs. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
In a heavyweight match-up, Will Smith pulls Alfonso Ribiero out of his homelss shelter with Alfonso's homeless roommate, DJ Jazzy Jeff, to reunite for an a-- whooping of Sherman Helmsley & Marla Gibbs. Mrs. Jefferson is now being played by Halle Barry to counter act Smith's stardom.
7. Charles in Charge vs. Seinfeld
Scott Baio is praying for a miracle in what's being dubbed the "1-16" match-up from hell as the biggest comedy of all time reunites and even brings in Larry david to polish off the scripts. Scott Baio surely doesn't stand a chance, even with a scantily clad Nicole Eggert around?
8. Family Ties vs. In Living Colour
Tona Yothers is angling for a little respect but Homey the Clown is ready for a beat down as J-Lo dons the dancing tights one last time to help her old friends the Wayans battle the lovelable liberals, the Keatons and their GOP leader, Alex.
Austin bracket:
1. Who's the Boss? vs. Married with Children
Hey yo, it's Tony Micelli & Angela and freshly GAY Danny Pintauro as they reunite with Alyssa Milano who even brings along boyfriend and Oakland A, Barry Zito to wage war with the Bundys. The question is, can Ed O'Neill reach Christina Applegate in time for the big dance?
2. 227 vs. Mash
An already stretched thin Marla Gibbs actually thinks Regina King and her rising film career will be enough to battle the ageless Alan Alda & his band of cohorts. The Dead Zone has even agreed to let David Ogden Stiers come back.
3. Benson vs. Good Times
It's outta sight when Robert Guillame personally calls out Jimmy 'JJ' Walker and calls him a punk!
4. WKRP in Cinncinati vs. The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Howard Hesseman don't need no Lonni Anderson when his old friends at Fillmore High from Head of the Class agree to help run the radio station as Mary, Rhoda and Ed Asner begin to argue amongst themselves about who takes the first bow on screen?
5. Cheers vs. The Cosby Show
Ali-Fraser. Tyson-Holyfield. Cheers-Cosby. yes, this is a championship match in the first round! It's Woody, it's Carla, it's Norm, Cliff, Sam et all as they take on Cliff, Claire, Theo, Vanessa, Rudy and even Lisa Bonet! All the heavyweights are out for this huge match!
6. Designing Women vs. Murphy Brown
It's another battle of heavyweights that used to share an evening as those southern belles use Delta Burke's weight to springboard into a match-up with Candy Bergen and friends. Even Dan Quayle is staying out of this one.
7. Roseanne vs. All in the Family
Speaking of heavyweights, Roseanne and John Goodman will now have to battle an updated 'All in the Family' with no Carroll O'Conner but rather a liberal version of the famil with Rob Reiner running the show.
8. Taxi vs. Diff'rent Strokes
It may not seem possible, but the worst father in Television history, Conrad Bain, is actually still alive. He outlasted Dana Plato! Yes, Mr. Drummond will reunite with the downtrodden Todd Bridges & pathetic Gary Coleman, aka, mall security guy #23, to face off against Judd Hirsch, Danny Devito, Marilu Henner, Jeff Conaway & possibly the ghost of Andy Kaufman in what maybe a slaughter. Hell, DeVito & Hirsch figure to be able to rest 10 minutes into the show and even let Conway and Henner cruise in for the sitcom win.
Posted by at 03:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 13, 2005
Get a real TV critic
Trial by Tribulation - The rotten new Law & Order spinoff. By Dahlia Lithwick
Once again, Slate has one of its beat writers (instead of an actual critic) write TV criticism on a show that is in her area of expertise. (Last time, it was House, which I like a lot more than I like Trial By Jury so far.) And once again, the writer doesn't get it. I normally like Lithwick's work, but instead of judging the show on its merits, she's upset about the show's portrayals of defendants and defense attorneys.
Look, most criminal defendants are -- I may have to turn my liberal credentials in for saying this, but it's true -- guilty. And since we're dealing with murders here, they're murderers, and murderers are mostly unpleasant people. And a whole lot of criminal defense attorneys, especially those with high-profile defendants, are cynical self-promoters. Leaving that aside, it's a freaking TV show.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:33 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
March 09, 2005
Does al-Qaeda take requests?
CNN.com - Was al Qaeda targeting Russell Crowe? - Mar 9, 2005
Because I really wish someone would kidnap Colin Farrell. And I can think of a few others.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:25 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
March 07, 2005
A Public Service Announcement
Hello, I'm Kiefer Sutherland of Fox's 24. Tonight, you saw rich white people evilly conspiring to cover up their complicity in terrorist attacks against the United States. This is a fictional betrayal, and most rich white people are not evil. Rich white people are your neighbors, though you, personally, are not allowed into their gated communities. Many rich white people are employed in socially acceptable occupations such as corporate attorney, arbitrageur, and plastic surgeon, and very few rich white people are actually terrorist sympathizers.
I'm Kiefer Sutherland, and I'm a rich white person.
[V/O: For more information on rich white people, visit their website at http://www.republicans.org/.]
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:08 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 28, 2005
Typical
al.com: NewsFlash - UPN tower in west Georgia falls
That's the sort of thing that happens to UPN. Nobody was cut off for three reasons:
- The station was still on the old tower.
- The signal is so weak that nobody could pick it up.
- Nobody watches UPN anyway.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Go SPLC!
Alabama documentary up for Oscar tonight
The Southern Poverty Law Center co-produced the documentary short Mighty Times: The Children's March, which won the Oscar last night. It's their second Oscar. Roy Moore's never won an Oscar.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 23, 2005
Small
Yahoo! News - Jennifer Love Hewitt Lands Psychic Gig for CBS
From the annals of pathetic rip-offs comes yet another show about a woman who talks to dead people. I'm sure that this is nothing like "Medium" on NBC, but I fail to see much of a difference except that show stars a fine actress that I like, Patricia Arquette, while this one would star the worst actress alive, Jennifer Love Hewitt. And I won't watch either. "Medium" has gotten some good reviews and I would probably watch it if it were about a fictional psychic instead of a real, but fake (since all are fake) psychic.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:15 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
February 09, 2005
Law & Order: Timeshare Division
USATODAY.com - Chris Noth has new 'Law & Order' duty
Chris Noth has a Criminal Intent guest spot this weekend, and next season he'll do half the episodes and D'Onofrio the other half. Until someone changes their mind about it again, I assume.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack