May 22, 2006
Good one, Tom
Chief justice race hinges on respect for U.S. Supreme Court
Tom Parker, who is running for Alabama Chief Justice, says that he might ignore US Supreme Court rulings on the death penalty. In other words, here we go again.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:21 AM | Comments (0)
May 19, 2006
This story makes no sense
Supposedly, Summit Medical Center (an abortion clinic) told a woman that she was six weeks pregnant, then gave her RU-486. A week later, she delivered a stillborn baby, over six pounds, at a hospital. I find it hard to believe that anybody could be that pregnant and not know it, or that a medical facility would act in this fashion. I guess what I'm saying is that I can't believe these facts and so there must be something else going on.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:18 AM | Comments (0)
May 18, 2006
Some retirement
UA's Clark named journalism dean at Georgia
Culpepper Clark just "retired" from being dean of the College of Communication at Alabama (where I am a student) a couple of weeks ago. Now -- suddenly, withough warning -- he's getting the dean of journalism job at Georgia, which is probably a step up in class.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:35 AM | Comments (0)
May 16, 2006
Candidate for what?
Candidate veteran shoe repairman
For Jefferson County sheriff, that's what. Surely 40 years of shoe repair have prepared him for the task.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:03 PM | Comments (0)
Bozo the Senator
Jeff Sessions -- the single stupidest member of the stupidest national legislative body in the world -- claims that a new immigration bill will lead to between 79 and 217 million immigrants entering the United States over the next 20 years. Data came -- as you might expect -- from the Heritage Foundation.
To give you some idea, the entire population of Mexico is about 108 million. 217 million would empty Mexico and all of Central America and the Caribbean with room to spare.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:01 PM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2006
Go home already!
Few Katrina evacuees remain at Oak Mtn. park
Okay, technically you don't have a home, I understand that. But gosh, I do think it's time to move on.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:25 AM | Comments (0)
Oh, does she?
Confidence regained, Baxley aims for top
You mean she actually aiming? She's going to run for governor instead of just waiting for it to come to her? Good.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:08 AM | Comments (0)
May 10, 2006
Still, it's all perfectly safe
Piece of Anniston furnace falls apart
They weren't burning chemical weapons at the time, just doing maintenance, when 72 bolts simultaneously fell apart. I don't understand how that could happen, but I feel safe, don't you?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:16 AM | Comments (0)
May 05, 2006
They look a lot alike
Layton thought car hit garbage can, court told
Garbage can, off-duty police officer on a bicycle -- I've often confused them. Also, when I hit a garbage can, I usually just keep on going until I can find a place to ditch my vehicle.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:38 AM | Comments (1)
They take these things very seriously
Threat to `blow head off' judge leads to arrest
Threatening to kill a Federal judge (in this case, Inge Johnson, who was also one of the judges in the Scrushy affair's early stages) is an excellent way to earn a free visit to one of our nation's many fine detention facilities.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:33 AM | Comments (2)
May 04, 2006
Nice editorial in the headline there
Sessions backs fairer AIDS funding plan
Said "fairer" scheme would take money from large urban areas and give them to lower-population areas on a "per-patient" basis. This ignores certain facts, such as that it's more expensive to operate in New York or San Francisco, or that actually stopping the spread of AIDS requires investment in the areas where it's most prevalent.
I'm all for the people of Alabama getting more for AIDS treatment, but stealing it from the cities where it's a bigger problem would be criminal.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:15 AM | Comments (3)
May 03, 2006
I have a suspicion
This doesn't have anything to do with Alabama playing Florida in football, does it?
Anyway, the idea is that there would be regulated hunts for the crocodilians in Mobile and Baldwin Counties, which no doubt will bring out the usual crowd of "Whoo-ee! Somethin' new to kill!" and their constant companions, the Animals Are Magic people.
By the way, there's No Such Thing As Global Warming, so the recent tendency of gators to swim up the Alabama and Tombigbee to areas outside their historical range has nothing to do with that.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)
May 02, 2006
Worst agent ever
Va. man charged with pursuing Prothro | TideSports.com -- Your complete Crimson Tide news source!
What kind of sports agent tries to sign up a kid who shattered his leg last year and might never play again? Really, this is a very poor showing by the scumsucker.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:03 AM | Comments (1)
May 01, 2006
"The next Shelby County"
Now a bedroom community, Bibb has 'bright future'
You act like that's a good thing. As far as I'm concerned, one Shelby County is more than enough.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:30 AM | Comments (2)
April 30, 2006
It needs at least a B
SRI scientists to test anthrax
So... the middle of Birmingham, aerosolized anthrax. I can't see how this could possibly go wrong.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:43 AM | Comments (0)
April 29, 2006
Those damned Vulcans
City a hub for alien transport
Using Birmingham to beam themselves in and out.
Oh, you mean human aliens.
Yeah, supposedly having multiple interstates is a good way to have lots of human smugglers go through. I really don't care.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:58 PM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2006
Feel The Excitement!
NCAA approves The Birmingham Bowl
There's nothing like getting together with 20,000 other fans to watch a clash between the third-best team from Conference USA and the fourth-best team from the Big East in rainy, 45-degree weather two days before Christmas.
There will also be a bowl game in Toronto. But they already have a dome.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:25 AM | Comments (1)
April 27, 2006
Students and faculty are icky
Witt gives provost more authority over university
Alleged University of Alabama President Robert Witt (whom I have never actually seen in person) is sick of having to actually run the University, which takes away from the vital work of schmoozing rich people, and is turning that all over to Provost/Actual President Judy Bonner. This is not me judging his motives, that's what he says:
I need to free up as much of my time as possible to make sure we reach our goal in the capital campaign.
He even knocked down a couple of direct reports; the VPs of student affairs and research now report to the provost and not the president. If Witt plays his cards right, he might never have to leave the mansion.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)
April 26, 2006
Priorities
UA professors best paid in Alabama, study shows
After four years in which Auburn led, UA has passed them. Seems like the state university should have the highest-paid professors, but Auburn's aggie focus tends to make their professors a little more expensive.
However:
Auburn leads football salaries | TideSports.com -- Your complete Crimson Tide news source!
Auburn knows what's really important. They have the highest-paid football coaching staff in the nation.
Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs said Tiger fans “expect the best, so we hire the best, and we pay the best."
Yeah, I heard that.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:33 AM | Comments (2)
April 25, 2006
Why are we still in this war anyway?
Statewide poll finds disfavor with Iraq war
I mean, if even Alabamians think that the war isn't worth it, who thinks it is? Other than politicians?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:04 PM | Comments (1)
I don't get it
Birmingham plans walking track for Arlington-West End area
Arlington-West End's neighborhood president, said residents want the neighborhood revitalized, and the walking track is just the kind of project to help meet that goal. It will also help meet health and recreation needs, as many residents who want to get exercise have to go to Smithfield to use the walking track near Legion Field.
Why? I mean, just because there's no track doesn't mean you can't walk. Walk around the block! If that's boring, walk around a different block.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:27 AM | Comments (0)
Bang
Riley picks up NRA endorsement
Roy Moore condemned the organization as a group of atheists and communists who are planning to steal his socks.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:21 AM | Comments (0)
April 24, 2006
Why?
Confederate soldiers saluted at Elmwood
I mean, what did they do that was worthy of tribute? Even the most ignorant redneck peckerwood has to realize that the Confederates were losers.
"If we don't remember, it will all vanish," said Larry Muse of Mountain Brook.
That would be wonderful.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:47 AM | Comments (2)
So of course it won't happen
Major party voters favor new constitution
A majority of Democrats want a state constitutional convention. And a majority of Republicans want one too. So there is no way that we'll actually have one.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:14 AM | Comments (1)
April 23, 2006
Plan B for Boondoggle
Some say 'Plan B' for dome needed
The city is looking at for a way to fund a "scaled-down" Birmingdome on its own if the county won't come on board. I expect that a lot of the county is thinking that's a great idea.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:58 PM | Comments (0)
Horror movie pitch of the day
Oxford park site sits astride tribal mound, relics
The city of Oxford thought it was doing good, building a park for its citizens. However, doing good carries a price... especially if the park is build on an ancient Indian ceremonial site. Now the users of the park and Oxford's leaders are dying one by one... Covered in Oxblood!!!!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:33 PM | Comments (0)
He's full of something
Langford's full of ideas, both big and small
My basic position on Larry Langford: He is completely and totally insane. However, he is the good kind of insane, the sort that generates ideas. He just needs someone to act as a brake, to say, "No, Larry, hollowing out Fultondale to build the world's largest swimming pool isn't feasible." Apparently, he lacks this, or doesn't believe the people (who are, admittedly, Republicans) who tell him this. This story is about this phenomenon, Langford's neverending stream of crazy ideas and refusal to listen to anybody who can tell him what's wrong with them.
I am greatly surprised by something... Langford is apparently not a self-Googler. I'm up to fourth in a search for "Larry Langford" but I have never received a condemnatory e-mail or anything. It's actually disappointing.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)
April 22, 2006
Sounds pretty reasonable
Riley wants school buses activated for hurricanes
So, how will Roy Moore couch his opposition to this?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:51 PM | Comments (1)
April 21, 2006
Driving While Hispanic arrest pays off!
Hoover police capture one of Texas' most wanted
This would have been more impressive had the arrest not been (from all appearances) for being a Mexican in a van.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:36 PM | Comments (1)
No, not Roy Moore
Gubernatorial hopeful arrested in Ponzi scheme
This is one of those no-hope independents, sorry. Though he did give Roy $1500, which for some reason is credited as a campaign expenditure. His attempts to get signatures to get on the ballot will no doubt be hampered by his extradition to Texas.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:27 AM | Comments (2)
April 18, 2006
Well, isn't that great?
The only Democratic candidate for the District 62 House seat has been disqualified because, well, he doesn't live in the district. His bad. The Democrats are looking for another candidate. This is important because the Republican incumbent is Gerald "Gay Books" Allen, who is embarrassing even for an Alabama Republican.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:47 AM | Comments (0)
Oh, grow up
Special funding method gets OK
The law requiring kids riding in vehicles, up to the age of five, to ride in car seats, and in booster seats until six, passed. So the the bill moving up the presidential primary.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:23 AM | Comments (1)
April 17, 2006
This keeps happening
Crime lab backlog holds up cases
Though Shelby's backlog isn't as bad as Birmingham's crime lab being unfit for human habitation. But more than a year to get a tox screen back? That never happens on TV.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)
I don't know
45 miles of toll lanes on I-65 possible
These lanes would be in addition to the present capacity, so maybe it would happen. This would apparently be all in the Birmingham area. I think it's appropriate south of town, but less so on the north side.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:44 AM | Comments (1)
April 16, 2006
Oh no, politics!
What Larry Langford -- County Commission President and theme park creating genius -- means as his line is swallowed hook, line, and sinker by the Birmingham News is that politicians actually disagree about an issue, and some politicians -- that is, members of the County Commission -- think that the Birmingdome is a bad idea. That, apparently, is "politics". Any disagreements of policy are now "politics". Apparently, "politics" now encompasses all phases of democratic government. Good to know.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:12 PM | Comments (0)
April 15, 2006
The Birmingdome lives
Kincaid to put forth BJCC plan
I have actually reached the stage where I hope they go ahead and build the damned thing because until it's done they're going to keep talking about it and I wish they'd just shut up.
The sum above would be the city contribution towards a projected $624 million for the dome and improvements to the civic center. But I can tell you right now that this is going to run around $1 billion. It always does.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:17 AM | Comments (0)
April 14, 2006
They should have gotten monster trucks
WHNT-TV, Huntsville, AL: Lawrence & Morgan Counties Get Terror Fighting Trucks
Wouldn't that be cool? Al-Qaeda wouldn't know what rolled over them.
Lawrence County has 31,513 people. It's not exactly a prime target. Maybe Morgan with 113,211 could be a target but I doubt it.
(Thanks to Pablo.)
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:59 PM | Comments (0)
Maybe I'm the one who's crazy
Latest 'run for fun" candidate announces strange platform
Two gubernatorial candidates. Which one of these main issues is a better idea, in the sense of actually improving the lot of the people of Alabama?
1. Putting the Ten Commandments in public places.
2. Giving free contraceptives to all the people of the state.
I have to think the second one is not only the better and more progressive idea but the more reasonable one. Again, maybe I'm crazy.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:35 PM | Comments (2)
I guess so
Folsom relishes return to politics
Little Jim is dumb but basically good, and will likely go up against dumb but evil George Wallace Jr. Once Big Jim Folsom, who was smart and (while somewhat crooked) basically good, was succeeded by George Sr., who was an evil genius.
Little Jim has already been governor. I can't see running for Lt. Gov if you've already been governor, but he may figure that whoever's elected stands a good chance of being convicted of something in the next four years.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)
April 13, 2006
Two questions
1. Can you celebrate your 175th anniversary? I think that after 150 you have to move to fifty-year increments.
2. I don't know what the school year was like in 1831, but starting classes in April in Alabama before air conditioning must have led to untold misery.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:46 AM | Comments (2)
It's entirely a coincidence
Convicted lobbyist gave to 4 state PACs
I mean, just because Michael Scanlon, who used to be Riley's press secretary in Congress, is one of the many Tom DeLay staffers going to jail, worked closely with Jack Abramoff, and funnelled $100,000 to PACs that gave more than $625,000 to Riley's first gubernatorial campaign, that doesn't dirty Riley. Does it?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:26 AM | Comments (2)
April 12, 2006
Dear sir
Nigerian gets almost 3 1/2 years for bank scam
I recently inherited the sum of 23,045,612 US$. I am currently in federal prison and am unable to access my funds. I NEED YOUR HELP. If you will please allow me access to YOUR bank account I can make a deposit. I promise you FIFTY PERCENT of my inheritance!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:48 AM | Comments (1)
Terrific idea
Bill would set earlier presidential primary
I have always wanted to be personally sucked up to by people desirous of becoming the Leader of the Free World, and now I might get a chance. In fact, I think we should have an even earlier primary, or better yet a caucus (caucuses look like they're more fun). Let's have it in November the year before. I know that Iowa and New Hampshire say that they have to be first, but let's just go ridiculously early so that they'd have to go even more ridiculously early to beat us. Nobody can out ridiculous us. I am serious.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:16 AM | Comments (2)
April 11, 2006
Yucky
Alabaster board to get water from Bessemer
Ewwww, Bessemer water. It probably has poor people germs.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:16 AM | Comments (0)
April 10, 2006
Everybody in the pool!
al.com: NewsFlash - Scrushy attorneys questions makeup of jury pool
Scrushy claims that there aren't enough black people in the jury pool in Montgomery, which leads to classic journalistic phraseology such as "Scrushy, who is white..." But not in this story, unfortunately.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:55 PM | Comments (0)
But Spencer's in
Davis faces challenger in primary
I swear, if I had the money to spare I'd run as the Democrat just because nobody should be unopposed. No primary challenge this time (Roy learned his lesson) and as usual no Democrat. Anyone live in the district and want a write-in vote?
Artur Davis' challenger is a mortgage broker from Tuscaloosa. He says he's upset about the bankruptcy law. So am I -- it was a bad bill -- but he has a lot more reason to be upset. But Davis is a really good congressman.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)
April 09, 2006
They're so cute
Alabama black GOP group launches effort for black primary votes
Well, I kid. I'm sure that they could add, say, fifty or sixty black voters to the primaries, thereby doubling Alabama's count of black Republicans.
Seriously, Roy Moore really wants this to succeed. Getting Democratic groups to the Republican primary is basically his entire campaign strategy.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:03 PM | Comments (0)
A classic rematch
Ex-commissioner Small on ballot
Smoot-Small 2. June 6.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:21 AM | Comments (0)
April 08, 2006
I'm not surprised
Bio lab's safety worries trustees
Here's the thing... The UA system trustees are mostly men who graduated from or have connections to the Tuscaloosa campus (usually just "UA"). They have never been fond of or confident in UAB. So no wonder they seem to think that the lab would be run by morons who would accidentally let out a virus that would destroy the city of Birmingham on its way to devastating all life on Earth.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)
Booga booga!
Just to fill you in, it did eventually rain here -- after 1 AM, nearly 12 hours after the panicky shutdown. I heard sirens, but it looked like just rain to me.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:56 PM | Comments (1)
April 07, 2006
The storm of death continues
In case I don't make it through this, witness the horrifying weather that was my downfall:
Remember me.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:12 PM | Comments (1)
God promised it would be fire
al.com: NewsFlash - Severe weather predicted for parts of Alabama today and tonight
Apparently, there is a storm of Biblical proportions coming and we're all doomed and the survivors will envy the dead. Only:
But at any rate, the schools and many businesses are closing and I expect that the grocery stores are doing brisk business as confused people think that it's going to snow or something at 82 degreees fahrenheit. At any rate, I'm certainly not opposed to a random Friday afternoon off. Still, you have to fear for anyone forced to drive home in this:
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:28 PM | Comments (1)
Again, why stop at 6?
Child safety seat until age 6 in House bill
I still say that all children should be kept in self-contained safety modules at all times until they emerge from their shells, pale and whimpering, at 18 to face the world completely unprepared.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:30 PM | Comments (1)
How about that?
Riley will sign the bill, or so his spokesman says. It's weird -- actual progress. We go all the way from No. 50 on the tax threshold list to No. 47. Take that, West Virginia, Montana, and Hawaii! By the way, Hawaii? With their cost of living? Yikes.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:23 PM | Comments (2)
ESPN's next series
Scissors beat paper! Student from UA wins
There's an intercollegiate Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament? Okay, some people have way too much time on their hands. Even the winner seems to think it's kind of stupid.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)
April 06, 2006
Anyone want a UHF station?
al.com: NewsFlash - Media General to buy four NBC television stations
Hey, it's a CBS affiliate! Number one network!
Media General already owned Channel 42 ("Your Vampire Station"), the CBS affiliate in Birmingham. But now they're going to buy the NBC owned-and-operated station, Channel 13, which even though its network sucks is a much better buy. The FCC will make them unload 42 as part of one of the few rules we have left.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:37 AM | Comments (1)
April 05, 2006
Technically
Bachus, Bonner took funds from DeLay aide
I mean, $500 bucks each. That's not really a big deal compared to all the other money DeLay funneled their way. Or the campaign money Bachus donated to the DeLay defense fund.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:58 AM | Comments (0)
He'll sign it
`Unborn child' crime bill goes to Riley
As we all know, injuries to fetuses are the most important issue facing us today and that this has nothing to do with an abortion ban. I should point out that this was passed in response to the murder of an 8 1/2 months pregnant woman, and that technically speaking murdering her was a crime already.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:36 AM | Comments (0)
April 04, 2006
He was there
UAB dedicates Shelby biomed research building
I mean, could Richard Shelby pass up the dedication of a 12-story building with his name on it? Of course not. This one had his wife's name too.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:42 AM | Comments (0)
April 03, 2006
Everybody in the north and west is thrilled
al.com: NewsFlash - Alabama among states bidding on bioterror lab
What do these states and Alabama have in common?
Mississippi, Kentucky, Georgia, North Carolina, Florida, Missouri, Kansas, Arkansas and Texas have also filed proposals with The Department of Homeland Security.
I believe what we're saying is that if you're not a red state -- and all of these but Florida and Kansas are deep red -- don't bother applying. As for the rest of you, whoever has the most connected Senator wins!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:35 AM | Comments (0)
Not impressed by God here
Plaintiff sees God's hand in legal fight
If God were involved, I'd ask why this guy got sick in the first place. At any event, Alabama has a horrible ruling in place that sets the statute of limitations for filing suit for being exposed to toxic chemicals to two years. There's also law in place banning suit if no injury has yet appeared. Since usually you don't get sick for more than two years (if the toxin doesn't kill you immediately) it basically bans lawsuits for all sorts of real injuries. The plaintiff seeks to overturn the ruling. The state Supreme Court is controlled by the Business Council of Alabama, so I'm not optimistic.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:24 AM | Comments (1)
April 02, 2006
It's a trap!
This being Hoover, it's probably an attempt to round up Mexicans.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:57 PM | Comments (0)
April 01, 2006
The tree death list
State still finalizing median tree-cutting list
Still worried about the Deadly Trees, the state DOT is still planning to chop a bunch of them down, though they haven't finalized which ones.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:55 PM | Comments (0)
March 31, 2006
What are they going to say?
Officials deny allegations of racial profiling
Actually, it would be kind of refreshing if for once they'd admit it.
Anyway, Hueytown is an old-fashioned kind of place. None of this hassling Hispanic immigrants. They're accused of the more traditional practics of hassling young black men. On St. Patrick's Day in -- I am not making this up -- Martin Luther King Park.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:00 PM | Comments (2)
Their baby, the WHORE
Hometown folks fret over Attalla teen's centerfold
You raise them, you try to teach them right from wrong, she even volunteers in the hospital as a candy striper. And then one day, you get the call:
"Mom, Dad, guess what? I'm going to be a Playboy centerfold!"
As you could expect, her parents are just thrilled. You can bet her dad is loving hanging around the welding shop.
"My boy Tim, the DB? He's getting recruited by the Tide and Ole Miss. Speaking of, Bob, is that your daughter showing her goodies in this month's Playboy? Nice!"
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:29 PM | Comments (4)
March 29, 2006
The next White House spokesman?
Miner injured, airlifted in Brookwood equipment accident
I give you the spokesman for Jim Walter Resources, speaking about a mine accident:
"We know about what happened, but it doesn’t need to be on the news while the investigation is going on," he said.
Yes, the traditional spokesman's job of telling news organizations to not talk about what he's talking about.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 04:09 PM | Comments (1)
Whoo! Kegger at Bedford's place!
Tap away: Keg bills dead for session
The various bills either banning or restricting private keg parties have died in the state legislature, months after they seemed sure to pass, what with no opposition group but college students. The alcohol wholesalers were backing the ban because they could look like they were doing something while at the same time selling alcohol in more expensive bottles and cans.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:55 AM | Comments (0)
Unrequited
Falling tree kills environmentalist
Okay, you can't not use that angle, even if the guy fought in WWII, earning two Purple Hearts, and was a ranger and naturalist with the park service. I mean, that's perfect.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:04 AM | Comments (1)
And that's what's important
Roadway crackdown yields 200 tickets daily
Remember, traffic tickets aren't just an end unto their own. They're also a fundraising method!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:16 AM | Comments (0)
March 26, 2006
We want to be like South Dakota!
al.com: NewsFlash - Alabama legislators consider bills to ban abortions
Well, this was inevitable. The bills probably won't pass, as they were offered too late in the session. That's probably part of it -- they're mostly a campaign issue in heavily Republican areas.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)
Pigout!
Alabamians in Congress adept at securing cash
Alabama's Senators and Congressmen have gotten so good at grabbing the pork that Federal payouts to the state are more than 3 1/2 times what they were ten years ago. Richard Shelby, of course, is the big man in this.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:51 AM | Comments (3)
March 25, 2006
Hoover thinks Latinos are stupid
One charged, two sought in slaying
Or, at any event, the chief of police does:
Derzis said police are urging Hispanics in Hoover to contact police if they are victims of a crime, regardless of their immigration status. "We want our Hispanic community to know they can call us without fear of reprisals."
You think they might be just a little worried about you guys picking them up on misdemeanors, and other crimes that hardly even merit the name, and then trying to ship them out of the country?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:22 PM | Comments (0)
March 24, 2006
This joke was too easy
al.com: NewsFlash - Samford students safe following cruise ship fire
"Darn it, Cindy, I told you not to invite those boys from Birmingham-Southern!"
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:41 PM | Comments (2)
Cokes and Moon Pies
Dodge: Mardi Gras bill set off 'alarms'
The $9,033 bill for Mardi Gras throws submitted by Mobile school board member David "She Should Have Known I Was Drunk And Kept Her Foot Out Of The Way" Thomas was paid by the school system out of funds collected from soft drink machines. Let's see, if cokes are $.70 apiece, that means that's 12,900 colas' worth of moon pies and stuffed animals.
Anyway, the superintendent launched an investigation, which is now being conducted by the DA.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:26 AM | Comments (0)
He thinks that's tough?
Freshman lawmaker puts focus on immigrant bills
Sure, he wants to seize property of illegal immigrants (the "Shakedown Legalization Act of 2006") but he still isn't allowing people to hunt them.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:27 AM | Comments (2)
That seems reasonable
County wants cut of sweepstakes winnings
It's not gambling, by the way.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:23 AM | Comments (0)
March 23, 2006
This guy again
Tyson = Mobile DA and presumptive Democratic AG candidate John Tyson Jr. Thomas = repeat Mardi Gras offender and Mobile school board member David Thomas. Thomas, who last Mardi Gras drunkenly drove over an eight-year-old girl's foot, apparently used $9,033 in school money to buy beads, stuffed animals, and moon pies to throw off a parade float. Frankly, he should probably spend March in the Caribbean or something from now on.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:57 AM | Comments (3)
March 22, 2006
Why 12?
Booster seats until age 8 or 12? Maybe
I mean, why stop there? Raise the driving age to 18, and say that everyone below that age has to be placed in a self-contained unit made out of titanium steel.
I find myself in the awkward position of agreeing with a Vestavia Hills Republican:
"I think it is one of those laws that sounds like a great idea," Williams said. "And once you start enforcing it, people are going to be going to their legislators and saying, `You voted to do what?'""If I had been in a booster seat until the age of 12, I'd be scarred far worse than I am now," Williams said. "You can't protect kids from every possible thing that might go wrong."
...
Williams vows to amend the bill, if necessary, to also require children to wear fire-retardant suits and crash helmets.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:29 AM | Comments (1)
Occasionally we have good ideas here
Owner faces felony charge for dogfighting
Sticking this bastard in jail for ten years? That's a great idea.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)
Perfectly good reasons
Why is the insurance company relocating from Birmingham? Because the company's top executives live in north Texas, that's why. So they're going to make an enormous move that will cost millions.
By the way, this story claims that the move will cost about 50 jobs in Birmingham. The Dallas paper claims that they're going to gain 500 jobs. Now, this sort of thing obviously doesn't create jobs, so either someone's wrong or it takes ten Texans to do the job of one Alabamian.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:29 AM | Comments (3)
March 21, 2006
We can't have that
Advocates for hungry say they’re determined to open soup kitchen
Oh, no, a soup kitchen! That means hungry people might get fed... in your backyard!
Felkins said that one resident objected to the ETC Soup Bowl’s mission of giving food with no questions asked by recalling the axiom of teaching a man to fish for a lifetime instead of feeding him a fish for one meal.
You know what? God thinks that resident in an asshole.
City councilman, ex-weatherman, and dork Kip Tyner says that they shouldn't have a soup kitchen in his district. Instead, they should put it in Holt. Look, I drive through this part of town all the time, and it's not exactly Rodeo Drive.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:40 PM | Comments (3)
Irony... too... much...
Murder, robbery victims likely targeted because of ethnicity, say police
The Hoover police say that two men were robbed and killed because they were Hispanic. A deputy police chief says:
"Unfortunately, some think that if they call us for police services that we will in turn cause them to be deported, and nothing can be further from the truth,"
"Because we only deport them if we pick them up for extremely minor offenses such as littering and jaywalking," he didn't add.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:17 AM | Comments (0)
Another shocker
Riley lambastes lobbyist Hubbert
Bob Riley doesn't like Paul Hubbert? Wow, never saw that one coming.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:12 AM | Comments (1)
March 20, 2006
It's perfectly normal climatic variation!
City snow another no-show for record 6th winter in row
There is No Such Thing As Global Warming, so don't even suggest that has anything to do with this!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
It's really their own fault
Language barrier slows death probe
The Hoover police are having trouble with a murder investigation because the only witness doesn't speak English, and (implied but not stated) they don't have anyone who speaks Spanish well enough to handle a proper interview. So, I'm assuming, they're going to deport more people.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 19, 2006
Pikers
Vandals target Baptist church near Trussville
I mean, they didn't use any fire at all.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
That's true, technically
Jefferson County judge ordering Hispanics to leave state
But actually, he ordered them to leave the country. And technically, he's not allowed to do either, because he's not an immigration judge. Guess where they were arrested. Yup, Hoover.
"That’s unbelievable," said Judge John Hardwicke, when told of the "leave" orders. Hardwicke is executive director of the National Association of Administrative Law Judges, a nonprofit, professional organization of judges and other legal professionals based at the University of Baltimore’s School of Law. "I just don’t see constitutionally how that could be done," he said. "A state judge has no authority beyond the territory of that state. Those are federal matters, not state matters."
Some of the people ordered out by the judge include: one who was arrested for jaywalking, one who was arrested for -- I am not making this up -- trying to rent an apartment and showing a social security card as ID, and one who was arrested for riding in a car without a seatbelt. I think the judge is the tip of the iceberg here. The mayor of Hoover, who is an enormous weasel, says that as the son of Greek immigrants he is immune from charges of racism.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:24 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
March 18, 2006
Mystery cow!
`Mad' cow's origins may never be clear
Maybe it was from Alabama. Maybe it was from another state. Maybe it was from the future! Who knows?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
That's one way of putting it
Recruiting gap closing for Guard
Another is, "Still losing net manpower, only not as fast as before."
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:46 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 17, 2006
Who's the animal here?
That's not fair. To animals. No animal ever poured hot grease on another animal. Both dogs were chocolate labs, just about the friendliest dog on the earth. Hopefully the torturer will be caught and get the max (six months in prison and a $1000 fine.)
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Screw you, kids
180-day school year enacted; annual breaks altered
Especially you kids in Shelby County, whose spring break has been kicked to April and who would have to come in on a weekend to make up any days lost to inclement weather.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:24 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Mugging Jefferson County
Rogers' bill forces Jeffco to fund dome
The Dome Man, John Rogers, has submitted a bill to force Jefferson County to pay $10 million a year for the next 29 years towards building a domed stadium. It probably won't pass. Actually, it probably only passed out of the Jefferson County delegation on a voice vote because Rogers is the head of the delegation and in his head the "ayes" outnumbered the "nays".
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 16, 2006
Please find the money
House seeks more mine safety money
The state is still piddling around this issue. Governor Riley released $675,000 to fund three or four new inspectors. (That doesn't seem like much, but it would more than double the current 2 1/2.) Then the Senate added a whole $100,000 to the General Fund. John Rogers' bill in the House (signed by 60 other members, so it should pass easily) would add $4 million, which is more like it. Unless you want more deaths.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 15, 2006
Everybody hates everybody else
McCrary criticizes city's lack of unity
Alabama Power's CEO says that Birmingham is losing its status as the state's economic leader because the politicians and business leaders hate each other. But the politicians also hate the other politicians!
Posted by Mac Thomason at 10:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 14, 2006
Not bad for a Republican
Proposal doubles land protected near Cahaba
Spencer Bachus has a bill to double the size of the National Wildlife Refuge along the Cahaba River. Even if it passes, they still have to convince the owners to sell.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 03:37 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Yeah, yeah, I know
Mad cow case in state said to pose no threat
The animal didn't enter the food chain. But the whole point is that other infected cows could have entered the food chain without us knowing. That's how it works, you see -- the presence of one infected animal infers the presence of others.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:12 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
March 13, 2006
Moooooooooooooooo
al.com: NewsFlash - Alabama cow tests positive for mad cow disease
Well, that's pretty random. Out of nowhere, really. The closest case of BSE was in Texas. What this means, of course, is cheap beef.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Strip down
The Crimson White Online - Suspect arrested in Venue shooting
Four people were shot (none fatally) on the Strip near the UA campus Saturday morning. Then there was the crazy drunk guy who shot a guy a couple weeks ago. They're finally going to hire some security down there in the person of an off-duty police officer, but the city might step in and start closing places down instead.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
They're no fun
Vanity plates: License to cuss?
Honestly, what's the harm in a "PIMP" license plate? Much less "ONTARIO".
Why is "ALLAH" on the list when "BUDDHA" and "JESUS" are not?
Oh, you know.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:22 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
March 12, 2006
Let the lawsuits begin!
al.com: NewsFlash - Alabama close to creating "God Bless America" license plate
The sponsor says that "I hope it will rally the people of Alabama together," because he's a bozo. It's going to pass and then someone will file a lawsuit and then some cop with no forehead will start pulling over motorists who choose not to have the slogan on their cars and there will be more lawsuits and coming from a family of lawyers as I do I figure it's probably good for us.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:52 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
March 11, 2006
More shocking news
Report: Rise in gas prices is deliberate
It is unbelievable that natural gas companies would inflate their prices. Simply unheard of. What will they think of next?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 01:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 10, 2006
Heard that before
Riley asks voters to press for tax- cut plan
I missed talking about the compromise tax-cut plan that Riley and the Republicans thrashed out with black Democrats. The teachers' union is against it, because they won't get as big of a raise as they wanted and because they're afraid that future education funding will be jeopardized.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 09:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 09, 2006
Adorable
al.com: NewsFlash - Auburn student arrested in Mobile in Destin boat theft
Everyone's measure of what's acceptable for a college student is a little out of whack right now. Hey, he didn't set it on fire, let him go.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 11:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Let's kill them
Migratory waterfowl raise fears of bird flu
That's the easiest thing to do, right? Blow all the birdies away to keep the bad bird flu from killing us. Of course, the birds all come from the north where there's no bird flu, but better safe than sorry.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 08, 2006
He's a Blazer
THIRD SUSPECT SOUGHT IN CHURCH ARSONS
The two 19-year-olds are both students at Birmingham-Southern. The third suspect is 20 and attends UAB. Since the authorities are looking for him I'm naming him. He's Matthew Lee Cloyd. I get the idea that maybe he was less of an active participant, perhaps just the driver, but I may be reading too much into it.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 12:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
No crime here!
Police: Bloody mattress likely not tied to crime
It's just an ordinary blood-soaked mattress in a dumpster, like you see every day.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 08:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
The power of shame
Forensics lab to move in 3 months
You want to bet that the cops have been trying for years to get a new facility? Go to the papers (TV news, too) and within a week, here's the money for it. Funny how that happens.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 07, 2006
You get 'em
al.com: NewsFlash - Alabama miners rally for more mine inspectors
I knew about this beforehand, because I have family connections, and feel very strongly about this issue. It is obscene that Riley and the rest of the corporatistas in the Alabama government have allowed the situation to decay like this. Lest you forget, the state's reaction to the death of thirteen miners in a collapse in Tuscaloosa County was to cut back on mining inspections. (The disaster was on Siegelman's watch, the cutbacks on Riley's.) The only way that miners have been able to get any inspections is via lawsuit.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:25 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Are we on this again?
Lawmakers eye ban on school stun guns
I tire of this issue. Just come to a final decision for once, please?
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Fight the power, Dick
Scrushy allowed wider juror list access
The Scrush claims that black people are underrepresented on Montgomery County juries, which damages his strategy of, apparently, pretending that he's black. Or whatever it is. It worked in Birmingham. Anyway, he wants more information to pursue this angle and a Federal magistrate gave him access.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 07:08 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 06, 2006
Oh, those guys
Muslim students seek apology from paper
The bozos at the South Alabama student paper (you know, the sort of people who send incoherent email insults to bloggers) decided it would be neat to reprint the cartoons. Which is their right, of course. I haven't said anything about the cartoons, but what offends me is that they're not funny and I can't figure out why they're supposed to be funny.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 06:30 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
March 05, 2006
Always a hoot
WSFA TV Montgomery, AL - Gubernatorial Candidates Meet with Alabama Press Association
I wonder why they bother. It's not like any major news organization in the state is likely to endorse Siegelman or Moore. Roy figured that much out and skipped it, citing a "schedule conflict".
Minor candidates were allowed to participate, including the peanut farmer who wants a referendum on legalizing casinos and the lawyer who hasn't read the Constitution lately and wants to drug-test all students in public and private high schools.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 05:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Also, economics and political science and...
State's school budget defies fiscal history
The state's school budget projects growth of better than five percent a year for each of the next five years, something that never happens. They're not only blowing the surplus this year, they're planning on a surplus in future years that simply isn't going to happen. Even in the nineties we didn't have growth like that. Smells like proration.
Posted by Mac Thomason at 02:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack