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August 24, 2004
Another Olympic Report from Captain Euro!
Greetings from Greece! The controversy that all here and abroad are talking about is the mistake in judging in the men's gymnastics final. Well, not everyone here. Nobody in Greece seems to care much about gymnastics, as you can see from the attendance at the event. I have asked around, and it seems that the Greeks are upset that their word gymnasion has been co-opted by more northerly folk to describe impish girls bouncing around and squeaky-voiced men swinging around like orangutans. It has become clear to me that traditionally gymnasion, and thus gymnastics, properly means only a place where naked men wrestle one another.
As for the controversy, it is claimed that a judge's mathematical mistake caused a Korean gymnast to garner only a bronze medal when he deserved a gold which instead was awarded to an American. As a European, I am strictly neutral in this affair. Therefore, take it from me when I say that the American should give up his gold medal, both in the name of fostering international goodwill and as apology for American's unprovoked invasion of Korea in the 1950s, details of which may be seen in the fine American documentary series M*A*S*H.
I have heard it said that the true cause of the problem is the event is judged, that all victories in such events are only subjective, and that this event and all others that depend upon judging can never have a true victor. What these critics fail to recognize is that all events are subjective! Yes, a swimmer may seem to objectively "win" a 100 meter race, but only from our own subjective view. What if, instead of touching the wall, a swimmer had to touch the bottom of the pool, or if he had to hit his head on the wall, or climb out of the pool? Are these not all reasonable standards? Sprinting, it is said, is objective, but only in our narrow view of reality. What if the sprinters, instead of a straight line, had to go in a zigzag fashion? Or if they had to wear berets? Or if they ran on a slight incline? Who is the winner then? And is "running fast" a truly objective state? The fastest man is far slower than a cheetah, but even the slowest far faster than a snail. And another thing [REMAINDER OF POST DELETED FOR SPACE.]
Posted by Mac Thomason at August 24, 2004 09:16 AM
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