War Liberal

"I am a patriot and even though Sharon was not comfortable with the decision, we had been at the top of the list for a baby for quite a while and we felt we owed a responsibility to our country and to President Bush that we adopt Mr. Hussein," said Bill in a released statement to the Associated Press Tuesday morning.

Saddam Hussein, the recently deposed and brutal dictator of Iraq, who is responsible for the raping and murder of his people, taking their finances away and keeping it, along with murdering thousands of innocent Kurds and destroying their homes, earned the well deserved nickname, "The Butcher of Baghdad."

Hussein was supposed to be transferred over to Iraqi authorities however a mix-up in paperwork has allowed the Murphys to get legal custody of Hussein. The Petersons are now responsible for Hussein's well being, that he get schooling, be fed three meals a day, and be a contributing member of society.

In return, 17 year old single mom to be Jill Stevens will give up her baby to the Iraqi Government. The interim Government is not overly thrilled with the trade and were overhead as saying, "where we will get the diapers to deal with all that poop." Stevens, who had been in contact with the Murphys about giving them her baby, seemed distraught about having to have her baby in Baghdad.

"This sucks," said Stevens.

Many Americans, however, are outraged at this decision.

"I have been a resident of High Point for over 50 years and my wife and I don't intend to share our twilight years with that evil dictator fella," said long time High Point resident Jimbo Harris, 78. Harris, who runs a local bait and tackle shop is concerned that Hussein's presence in High Point may cause some residents to leave and affect business. "I have been running 'Jimbo's bait & switch' for a long time and my customers are good, honest people; they don't want to go fishing and see Hussein out there with a pistol trying to catch fish in a dictator like manner!"

Harris' statements were clearly echoed around town.

"How am I supposed to get women to sit down and have their hair done in my shop with some disctator running around like a crazy man?" asked beauty shop owner, Marge Jones, 55.

The reaction from the White House was cautious optimism.

"President Bush wants to relay his support to the Murphys and still hopes they vote Republican this November," said White House spokesman, Scott Mclellan. "And this if this doesn't show the humanity of the United States to folks like Michael Moore, then nothing will. Mr. Hussein will get three square meals and a roof over his head down in High Point."

The reaction from the Democratic side was less than enthusiastic.

"While I am hoping John Kerry chooses me for the Vice Presidency, I want to tell everyone in my home state of North Carolina that I am completely against tax benefits for the upper 2%, there are still two America's, and I am not in favor of Saddam Hussein living in High Point," said Senator John Edwards (D-NC).

Kerry also added his caution.

"I was just on the phone with my friend Jacques Chirac in France and he asked that I personally check in on Mr. Hussein from time to time," relayed Senator Kerry. "While I find Mr. Hussein to be evil & repulsive, I promise to work better with the European Union that our current administration so whatever Mr. Chirac wants, I will deliver."

Meanwhile, down in High Point, Saddam Hussein arrives at the Murphy household and the press is swarming for his reaction.