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June 30, 2004
Murphys heading to Counseling with new son, Saddam
HIGH POINT, NC.--Only days after adopting Saddam Hussein, Sharon & Bill Murphy of North Carolina, are taking their new 'son' to family counseling with them.
"He's giving me the creeps and I haven't slept at all," says a plae white Sharon Murphy. "I know Bill thought we were doing our patriotic duty keeping an eye on Saddam here in the U.S. while providing him a good home, but he's just so damned evil."
Bill Murphy was a bit more optimistic.
"He just needs to make some friends, that's all," said Bill, 48, construction worker. "I think the fact that he's older then us is hard and no one has ever disciplined him before; plus it's Summer and he will have structure when schools rolls back around in 2 months."
The Murphys have taken new 'son' Saddam with them to Dr. Gary Beckman, the lone Psychologist in High Point. Beckman's only other brush with fame was treating Bob Dole for depression before the invention of viagra. Since viagra, Dole's been one happy camper. So has Elizabeth Dole (R-NC).
According to a leak in Dr. Beckman's office, Sharon spoke about how Saddam formed a little club at his Summer Camp where he got three boys and two girls to join his "Iraqi Republican Guard of Walnut Oaks" club that he formed immediately upon going to Walnut Oaks Summer camp.
His club members include 13 year olds Jason Schwarz of Charlotte and Willie Mckennon of Durham, 15 year old Ashley Smart of also of Durham, and 14 year olds Jenny and Tommy Jamison of Winston-Salem. The Jamison's were last minute addition when Saddam said it was 'OK' for Jenny to only use hand to hand weapons rather then side arms.
Sharon Murphy also shared her nervousness that several dogs in the area have gone missing while several high mounds have formed in the Murphys backyard.
"Boys will be boys!" Bill Murphy stated. Sharon started openly weeping.
Another problem Sharon mentioned was that Saddam has been praying still to Allah and ignored her attempts to introduce Saddam to Jesus. He then asked her if she'd be interested in being the first wife in his new American 'Harem'.
"He then said I was like an oil well to him in the hills of Baghdad and he wanted to find my gusher, whatever that means," said Sharon who admitted that she didn't hate the way that sounded since Bill works a lot of night hours.
Meanwhile, over concernsfor the Murphy's and the residents of High Point's safety, the State Department has detached several armed guards throughout the town to appear as local drunks & bumbs as to not startle anyone. The State Department aims to continue the quiet and peaceful life of High Point while trying to keep a sharp eye on the activities of the Murphys' newest son.
Posted by Mac Thomason at June 30, 2004 01:43 PM
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