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June 20, 2003
The Space Ghost Group Returns
SPACE GHOST: Greetings! I am Space Ghost, and this is the Space Ghost Group. Our panelists are:
Captain Euro, superhero and marketing pioneer;
The Incredible Hulk;
Batman, the Dark Knight;
And Zorak, lone Mantis of the Apocalypse.
Issue One: The Bush tax cut. Critics charge that it's simply a giveaway to the superrich and isn't what's needed for the economy. Batman?
BATMAN: Why are you asking me? Are you saying that I'm superrich? Because I'm not, you know. I'm just a simple superhero.
SG: Uh, right. Captain Euro?
EURO: Ha! Now the true colors of the cowboy Bush regime are shown! Tax rates in this country are already far too low! You must raise tax rates on all so that the redistribution of wealth can proceed!
SG: Wrong! [ZAPS CAPTAIN EURO WITH HIS POWER BANDS.] Hulk?
HULK: Hulk have clip.
SG: What?
HULK: Hulk movie out nationwide starting today. Hulk have clip. Show clip!
SG: Uh, this isn't really the forum for that.
HULK: SHOW CLIP!
SG: All right. Moltar, roll the clip.
GUY PLAYING BRUCE BANNER: Oh, Betty, there's some animal inside me!
JENNIFER CONNOLLY: That's all right Bruce. We'll get through this together.
GPBB: No, Betty, you don't understand...
JC: What is it Bruce?
GPBB: I like it.
HULK: What?!? That not Hulk! That little man play Banner! Hulk brought wrong clip!
SG: Wait, Hulk, don't smash the set! Smash Captain Euro instead!
EURO: [GROGGILY] Wha? Non!
HULK: Hulk smash! [HE SMASHES CAPTAIN EURO.]
SG: Right. Now, Issue Two:
ZORAK: Wait! You never finished issue one!
SG: I didn't? What was it?
ZORAK: The Bush tax cut, you fool!
SG: Doesn't everyone know that that's just a huge giveaway to the rich that will hurt future generations?
ZORAK: Yes, but we're pretending it isn't.
SG: All right then, Issue Two: Tom DeLay using the Department of Homeland Security to track fugitive Texas Democrats. Is this a proper use of his authority? Zorak?
ZORAK: All hail Tom DeLay! If one has the power, there is no improper use of authority.
SG: You mean, like this? [HE ZAPS ZORAK.]
ZORAK: [SCREAMS]
SG: Batman?
BATMAN: While I have never shied from using extralegal means to accomplish a goal, I would never do so in pursuit of narrow partisan interest.
SG: Correct! I think. Issue Three: French labor strife. Is the Republic breaking down? Captain Euro?
EURO: I had Jell-O today.
SG: Too much for him, I guess. Hulk?
HULK: Hulk smash Ang Lee!
SG: Right. Uh, Batman?
[BATMAN'S CHAIR IS EMPTY]
SG: Where did he go?
ZORAK: [Coughs.] Ha! Your show is ruined, again!
SG: Well, at least I don't have to deal with journalists.
MOLTAR [V/O]: The Space Ghost Group is made possible by a generous grant from Archer Daniel Midlands Corporation, a division of Lexcorp. And by generous support from viewers like you.
Posted by Mac Thomason at June 20, 2003 09:26 AM
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Comments
Hulk feel that socio-economic ramifications of tax cut not explored by Bush administration. Hulk worried cut smash social security.
Posted by: Hulk at June 20, 2003 12:56 PM
Bah. That not Hulk. Hulk not use big words. That phony Hulk! Hulk smash phony Hulk!
Posted by: Meryl Yourish at June 20, 2003 10:32 PM