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  I can’t imagine that any of you out there didn’t see the Barry Bonds interview he gave sitting side-to-side with his 15 year-old son. God knows, ESPN, Barry’s greatest shill, repeatedly played it for days. If you didn’t then all I can tell you is that it was possibly the most pathetic exhibition of a lack of character ever seen on the tube. I described it, on another venue, as if we were watching a spoiled and petulant child who got caught red-handed with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.  I have been writing for the longest time that I believe Barry has been cheating. I never said he was the only one, and after last week’s performance by Mark McGwire before a Congressional committee, it became apparent that “Mr. Squeaky Clean” is also a fraud. Jose Canseco may have had a monetary motive in writing his book but it seems that its veracity isn’t as questionable as other players would like us to believe.  One player in particular, Curt Schilling, had his stock drop dramatically in my eyes as he was obviously attempting to score political points for his own future. Curt was very vocal about the rampant use of steroids before he came before Congress and many were stunned by his dismissal of everything Canseco wrote, including seeming to be ecstatic when he had the opportunity of accusing Jose of being a liar. Ironic that Canseco is being accused of being self-centered when, at least in this writer’s view, Schilling dwarfed him in that department. The most amazing stupidity voiced by Bonds was his accusation that the press caused his being “brought down.” I don’t know if that’s possible unless, unbeknownst to us, one of the members of the media took apart Barry’s knees with a screwdriver. Some have even pointed out that his saying his kids are always crying, with his son at his side, is almost tantamount to committing suicide. This usually comes from those people with teenage children. I love Hank Aaron as I grew up watching him play and always admired his character and courage as well as his enormous skill. However, none of what I have written about Bonds is due to my attempting to distract from his breaking Hank’s record of 755 home runs. Even Mr. Aaron was always accepting of his record eventually being broken. It’s what’s normal in sports as well as an old adage especially in baseball, “Records are made to be broken.” Still, you know Barry has done something wrong when even Hank openly said, weeks ago, that he believes Bonds cheated. It’s also not like there weren’t any signs at all. I know Hank has taken a higher road since then and is more diplomatic towards Barry and his problems but it’s still quite apparent that he doesn’t like what Bonds has been doing. The key to remember is that steroids don’t improve your natural skill set but makes you stronger. However, the key is that it allows you to continue your career, at a superior level, much longer than is normal. I can’t remember is single player who had all his greatest numbers well after he turned 35 years of age. I grew up and as a kid cherished the “numbers” that are at the core of this game. The numbers like “60,” “714,” “56,” “3,000,” “500,” “ 300,” “511,” “.400,” and “96,” immediately spring into mind. “96” fell and it wasn’t surprising as it was the mark set when Ty Cobb stole that many bases. Greats who were speed demons like Maury Wills, Lou Brock and Rickey Henderson all exceeded the century mark. “3000” and “500” were more like career benchmarks for hitters the former representing hits and the latter homers. “.400” represents the batting average that was the golden grail of any great hitter. The greatest of all, Ted Williams, was the last to achieve that in 1941, 64 years ago. The one player today who has a shot at achieving that is Ichiro Suzuki but he would have to improve on his taking a walk to do that.  “300” is the career goal of every starting pitcher in the game and there are many who believe we have seen the last of that breed in Greg Maddux, due to the role specialization of that position. “56”, arguably, will never be broken as it is the consecutive game hitting streak achieved by the Yankee Clipper, Joe Dimaggio. The one record certain to stand forever is the 511 wins by Cy Young which was set in a different time and era.  The most popular of those numbers was “60” and “714,” both home run records set by the Great Bambino, Babe Ruth, arguably the most famous of all players past and present. Ruth hit 60 in 1927 and it took 34 years before Roger Maris gave us all a ride we’ll never forget, with 61 dingers.  Then came another 37 years when Mark McGwire hit 70 in 1998. Something smelled because after so many seasons, two people broke that record as Sammy Sosa also eclipsed Maris’ number. Two items were even more disturbing: • How quickly Barry Bonds broke the record with 73, and, • The fact that Sosa exceeded 60, three consecutive years.  Everyone but the racists and hate mongers were thrilled when Hank Aaron hit his 715th. It was an achievement of excellence consistency displayed over significant longevity. However, it became immediately apparent that Hank’s career mark of 755 was now in jeopardy because if one player can average over 60 over three years how long would it take him to catch up? Especially when the juicing up has made these guys better than when they were younger. And I know bodies thicken naturally as we age but our skills erode, not improve. Aaron had his last great season when he was 39 and was clearly a shell of his former self after that. Bonds, if you listen to ESPN’s Pedro Gomez, can always just switch over to the Angels, once he can’t play the field anymore, and, if that’s the scenario, shoot for a career record of a thousand home runs. Crazy? Maybe, but it’s certainly within the range of possibilities. Today we are left with Bonds saying he might be out for the entire season. There is even a viewpoint that he wants to sit out a year so that the steroid hysteria dies down, and then comes back next year to break the record. Problem with that is, that in the eyes of so many fans, he’s forever tainted and his reputation is eternally stained. Besides, his troubles are mounting as he looks like he faces a Federal indictment for tax evasion and money laundering. I remember reading during the 1994 baseball strike that Bonds was having a dispute with his ex over child support, claiming that he couldn’t afford to pay her. I also remember thinking that it was appalling, considering the amount of money he was earning for a prior number of years.  Many are attempting to analyze Barry and why he is this way. Well, as they said on the Jeff Foxworthy Roast on Comedy Central the other night, “the tree don’t fall far from the nuts.” His dad, Bobby, raised Barry. I always liked the older Bonds because he was a thrill to watch perform. He was an unusual combination of speed and power but never attained his full potential. Some attribute his to a drinking problem and a lack of discipline. These factors led to his being traded multiple times. Instead of examining his own faults, he blamed all his problems on the press. I ask you, what do you think his son’s attitude towards the press will be if, or when, he makes it to the majors? This is something that gets passed from generation to generation. The one bit of surprise I’ve always felt was that Barry’s godfather, the great Willie Mays, never had any problems with the press, and, in fact, always had a great relationship with the public in general. The greatest tragedy might be something I’ve pointed out before: This is all due to gluttony since Bonds was already one of the all time greats before he ever juiced up. Another tragedy might be that Barry assumes everybody believes in the veracity of his statements.  However, it’s possible this has become part and parcel of what our great nation has become where anything goes to make a buck and the best example may be sitting in the White House.  It has led me to wonder when we will look at the pitchers’ side and consider whether someone like Roger Clemens also juiced up. I watched an ESPN award show a couple of years ago and Roger was being interviewed alongside Greg Maddux. Both were dressed in tuxes and it looked like father and son at a Bar Mitzvah. Keep in mind that gluttony is not limited to any position and that Clemens was already an all-time great when he ballooned up this way.  I’ve made the acquaintance of a fantasy baseball whiz out in Arizona and think he and I might have the potential to develop an interesting friendship. He wrote a few pieces about Barry and adapted them to a few famous rock songs. With his permission, I present “Fool’s Still On The Hill” to you and hope you enjoy his work as much as I did. I also want to thank him for allowing me to insert his work into one of my columns. Adapt to Elton John’s “Goodbye Norma Jean” Goodbye Barry Bonds Though I never knew you at all You were a scum to inject yourself While cheating all your fans Fans who swam after your homeruns Trainers whispered into your brain They gave you all the cream and clear And they made you change your frame And it seems to me you lived your life Like an axle in the wind Never knowing who to dump on When the press came in And I would have liked to have cheered you But you were just a prig Your head was giant long before The steroids that you did Drug testing's now tough Your secrets will soon be revealed Steroids created a superstar And shriveled nuts was the price you paid Even when you cried Oh the press still hounded you All the papers had to say Was that Barry was a cheating jerk, so rude Goodbye Barry Bonds From the young fan in the 22nd row Who sees you as something more than a steroid freak More than just the axle Barry Bonds And it seems to me you lived your life Like an axle in the wind Never knowing who to dump on When the press came in And I would have liked to have cheered you But you were just a prig Your head was giant long before The steroids that you did (This post has been edited for content. Parental Guidance is suggested) Having some more fun w/ music from Little Eva and Grand Funk.... you know the tune, so sing along! If you don’t know the tune, it’s “The Loco Motion.” Everybody's doin' a brand new drug now. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. You'll grow some great big muscles if you give it a chance now. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Barry, Sheff and Jason can do it with ease, It's easier than learnin' your ABCs. So, come on, come on, and do The steroid lotion with me. You've got to call BALCO now, Oooo ... Come on, Pump up, Kick back, Oh, well, I think you've got the knack. Oooo ... Woah ... woah. Now that you can do it, well, let's hit homeruns now. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Canseco, Mark and Sammy all look like king kong now. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Do it nice and easy now, and don't lose control, A little bit of cream and a lot of clear, So, come on, come on, and do The steroid lotion with me. Woah ... woah. Trot around the bases on the steroid lotion Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Shoot some in your butt now if'n you get the notion. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. There's never been a drug that's so easy to do, Don't worry if your nuts shrink and your head gets big too So, come on, come on, and do The steroid lotion with me. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. So, come on, come on, and do The steroid lotion with me. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. So, come on, come on, and do The steroid lotion with me. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Come on baby, do the steroid lotion. Break out your lighters kids.... for an encore performance. Barry does Lynyrd Skynyrd!!! (Think “Freebird”.) If I leave baseball tomorrow Would you still keep hounding me? For I must be rehabbing on, now, Cause there's too many cups, and they want me to pee. But, if I stayed here with you, guys, Things just couldn't be the same. Cause I'm steroid-free, weak as a bird now, And this bird now cannot cheat. Oh Lord Knows I Can't Cheat. Bye, bye, Baseball, you racist bastards. My kids are crying and I'm really tired. But please don't take away my records, Cause Lord knows the media's to blame. But, if I stayed here with you, guys, Things just couldn't be the same. Cause I'm steroid-free, weak as a bird now, And this bird now cannot cheat. And this bird now cannot cheat. Lord knows, I can't cheat Lord help me, I can't cheat Lord I Can't Cheat Just Hit High Flies, Weak Bird Yeah. What I like most about this is not just the creativity it took to write it but the fact that we can take an issue that is so detrimental to the sport and, at least, find some entertainment within. A terrific cartoonist, John Cole, wrote his own version:  That’s what bothered me the most regarding the Congressional hearings. When the Congress people asked the players why they think the issue was ignored for so long, they all played dumb while we would have all had greater respect for the one(s) that said it was because of the almighty importance of the dollar. However, what was truly heartbreaking were the parents of those children who committed suicide who testified about the role steroids played in their sons’ individual demise. We cannot even begin to fathom the negative impact this has had on our youth. We’re talking about a generation that is destined to suffer from major medical problems.   This is all very sad and for so many different reasons. It even pained me to see the cartoon below as I must ask myself, “What have they done to the game so very many of us love so much?”   © Copyright BravesBeat Network, BravesBeat.com, and Michael M. Rapaport |
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